Ugh...

I finally have an appointment for Dr. Ren next Friday. I hope that I get some sort of fill. I basically have not had anything for two months. The last two fills were not so great, the nurse had to do an unfill both times. The second time she took out everything that she had just put in - so I was no better off than the moment I walked into the office that day. When I told this to Tammy at Dr. Ren's office she told me that was not what she should have done. She should have taken a little out, not all of it. This comment made me feel hopeful that Dr. Ren will give me something on Friday - I HOPE!

I mean I am really falling of the wagon here. I am not eating what I should, I am not following the rules, I am not weighing myself - basically I suck. And to top it off, I have been slacking on C25K. The week we moved I decided that I was going to take a break - way too much going on. I was okay with that; knowing that I would have to go back a week in the training, the time off really makes a difference in my stamina. However I can't seem to get past this week now!! I should be on like week 9 now, WTF! Basically, I think my piss poor attitude is holding me back.

The good news - I will be going home (Southern New Jersey) tomorrow for the weekend! I am so excited, my friends and I are getting together for manis, drinks and dinner tomorrow night - I can't wait. Hopefully, this will bring me one step closer to pulling me out of this funk.

My plan is to get back on track Monday. Eating the right foods, ignoring my emotional hunger and starting (and finishing) week 6 of C25K. I only have a little over a month before my 6K and the cruise with my friends - I have to get my ass in gear! Hopefully, this fill will bring me some restriction. I feel like I am getting discouraged because I am having to do this on my own - just like all the other "diets". I know this isn't true, I am still eating way less than before, but I am defiantly more hungry lately.