Tuesday, November 09, 2010

I Miss You All!

Hi Everyone!

Well, it has been a few weeks since my last blog and that does not make me happy.  My work life is taking over!  So much so that I didn't even post on my one year anniversary, which was October 20th.  But, I am human and this is life.  I am refraining from posting a big salute to my one year, it is over and done.  I have lost over 60 lbs in a year and I am okay with that.

What I am not okay with is how I have somehow become withdrawn from the blogging world.  I am not sure what is going on with my mind lately, but it has to stop.  Blogging helps me and it always makes me feel better.  As the title states - I miss you all - I really do!  I miss your comments, they always make me smile, but most of all I miss having the time to read all of your blogs!  I miss knowing what's going on with you all.  Well, with the exception of the few people I am friends with on FB of course!

Is this all because work is crazy or is it something larger?  Maybe I feel like a failure.  I said maybe!  Look, I have never lost this much weight before and even in this little funk I have managed to maintain and not gain.  That is awesome!  However, I still feel like I should have been down much more by now.

Also, I still don't have a goal yet.  You know, the ultimate goal that you set in the beginning.  My surgeon's office (not my current band doctor) never spoke to me about the ultimate goal.  I have not had a conversation with my current doctor, Dr. Ren, or even Gaspar, the RN.  Maybe I need to make this conversation happen.  Maybe I need something specific to push for...

I feel absolutely fabulous right now, I mean 65 lbs isn't anything to laugh at.  But, what is keeping me from being confident in this band and continuing on?  I need to have a goal - I think that is my answer.  I would love to know what you lovely people think...


Jen said...

Miss you too!!! And you should be absolutely proud of your loss this past year! It's awesome!! You've done great and you should celebrate it!

Jen said...

We miss you too!
I understand about work - I'm hit or miss anymore. I think a lot of us have been MIA for a bit, but it seems that we are all getting back to blogging on a more regular basis now that fall/winter has arrived.

I do think a goal will help you. I wonder if you are stuck at a previous low weight? I do that. The mind is a mysterious thing. I was stuck at 250 forever. Now 219..they are both previous known low weights (on old diets).

amandakiska said...

Miss you too! Sorry you aren't feeling it these days. You look great, though. 65 lbs. in one year is FANTASTIC!

Bianca J said...

Work just gets in the way of life! I try to keep up with blogs through mobile during the week as I don't blog at work. It's hard to keep up though!

Congrats on your one year anniversary! A while back I was being hard on myself for not losing faster and I'll paraphrase for you what was said to me; 65 pounds lost is 65 pounds lost no matter how fast or slow. That is a huge accomplishment and you should be proud.

I set my goal weight based on what I think is realistic for me and will get me to "normal" on the charts. My clinic didn't set one for me. See what your doc thinks is right for you.

I think we all go through periods where we need to pause for a while and that's ok. Recently I've been setting weekly goals for myself as I am determined to get into the one's by Christmas. It's helping to keep me motivated. It doesn't have to be weight related, it could be workouts or meals or something else.

Long comment :), glad you posted.

Tina said...

well hello there stranger :) I have missed you too.

So first of all 60 pounds is great!! If I remember correctly it is about how much I lost my first year!! I am 2+ years out and just getting to goal. The band is a never ending you keep working at it forever kind of device. You have as long as you need to get there.

So why not set a next short term goal? Perhaps a size? a milestone number on the scale? I had trouble with setting a finish-line goal because I had never weighed less than 170. My goal was that number until I got there and figured what the hell..and moved on another 5 pounds to normal on the BMI charts. Now you do what is good for you. The beauty is you get to pick.

keep blogging with us :) whenever I talk about my online friends I put my fingers up and put quotes around the word "friend"...but what great "friends" we all have eh? xxxooo

Pie said...

I'm having the same problem as you - life is just getting in the way and I feel like I have less and less time to connect with the bloggers that I enjoy (of which you are one of them!) The nice thing about FB is that you can just pop a comment or two here or there and not have to commit to writing anything blog worthy. If you want another Facebook buddy you can always come find me! =) Just search for 'Perry Weden'

And congrats on the 65 lbs!! You look stunning!

MandaPanda said...

Welcome back! It sounds like a goal is just what you need...something to push yourself for and work for. Your progress is fantastic and you look great! No reason to be disappointed in how you've done this year. Happy Bandiversary!

Nicole said...

I have missed you! I am flattered by your comment ;) You have done amazing!! And the challenge is motivating me too :) Your goal is what you want it to be! I had a goal and then an aspirational goal and believe me with the band it IS possible

Joey said...

Missed you! I find having specific goals does help me. But that's me. I also find that if I'm "hiding" it's a bad sign. Glad to "see" you back around!

Catherine55 said...

Has been too long!! So great to see you blogging -- and your new photo is absolutely gorgeous (I actually clicked over specifically to tell you that)!

On the goal, definitely talk to Dr. Ren about that. It's good to know what you're working toward. Plus, that way you can celebrate when you get there! Would love to see you in person -- we need a bandster brunch soon!

Lap Band Gal said...

Missed you too! Awesome job on that 65 lbs! WOO HOO!

Angie said...

I love you Colls, I really do. You're sweet and funny and adorable and awesome and I really am so glad to see you back on here. You've made some awesome progress! xx

Judi said...

A failure? OMG.....you need beaten with a scale! 60 pounds in 1 year is absolutely amazing!!! Did you know 60 pounds is the size of an Elephant's penis???? Yeah, well...now you do. Think of that!! (ugh!)
Listen...here's some straight talk--life can get in the way of life. And, work life can take over our entire lives and put us over the edge in terms of having enough time and energy to devote to everything else we THINK we should be doing. Rid yourself of the guilt and don't beat yourself up over it. Move forward with a can-do attitude. Even when you don't feel that way--lie to yourself! Trick yourself into it!! LOL!! You are doing great--don't forget that!!! Celebrate your success---make it a habit!!
With all that being said--you look amazing! And, if you get rid of that "feeling like a failure" feeling....you will feel amazing! You deserve it!!!
For me---my blog really kept me on track. It was as much a part of my journey and my success as my band. So, keep blogging, keep looking forward and keep applauding your decision to get the band! If you're anything like me--if it wasn't for the band--I'd now be 300 lbs (starting weight of 250ish). What a nasty thought!
Somedays the only thing I can do is celebrate the fact that I am not 300 pounds!!

Pie said...

Meet your boobs new BFF: Le Mystere's Isabella bra: http://www.lemystere.com/collections/details.asp?collection_id=1&PageIndex=1

I've never seen any bra prop breasts up in such a "on display" kind of way! It's definitely not for the faint of heart! Mine are decent sized but definitely a bit on the deflated side, and this bra works MIRACLES. You'll be shocked too because it's not padded to the gills.

It's a pricey line ($60-$70 I think) but they are really well made and last FOREVER.