Friday, September 10, 2010

It's Been A While...

I am still alive, just not really in the "band" frame of mind right now.  I don't know what is wrong with me, I just can't seem to get my shit together here people!  Since my gall bladder surgery I have not really been focusing on the band lifestyle.  I am pretty much wide open - I still get full quicker than pre-band, but man can I eat.

My best friend's mother has been in ICU for two weeks now and I went home this past weekend to visit.  I saw her three times and each time she was improving.  I am extremely close with the family and it breaks my heart to see this happen to such an amazing group of people.  In fact, I am actually closer to her family than my own!  Today they took her tube out and she is breathing on her own, this is great news.  However; she still has quite a ways to go, with two surgeries in the near future.

Work is absolutely insane, INSANE!  I can't seem to catch up on anything and everyone wants their shit like yesterday!  I am only one person, right?!

I just feel like a failure right now.  My eating has gone to shit, I think I injured myself this weekend lifting things - I am not supposed to lift anything for like four weeks.  Which means my exercise is pretty much non-existent right now.  Worst of all - I did not weigh myself on Monday - the SHAME!  I chose to do this - good or bad.  I chose to commit to tracking everything, no matter what.  I am just so terrified to see the 200's again - which is inevitable at this point.

What have I done to myself....

7 comments:

Gilly said...

First thing: get on the scale and assess the damage. It might not be as bad as you think. And if it is, it's a wake up call and you can turn things around starting now! This is just a crappy time and you will get through it, but stepping on the scale is the first step. Blogging is a good second one. Get it all out! Good luck!! xo

(yikes: word verification was "nolooss"...)

MandaPanda said...

I agree with Gilly. You're just gonna have to suck it up and get on the scale. You're healing from surgery..it's OK if your weight slips during this time. But you gotta know where you're coming from.

Linda said...

I to agree with the wise Gilly. Avoiding the scale is what got us all in this situation. It may not be that bad.
It's good you blogged and identified what's going on. We're all here for you.

-Grace- said...

I'm just going to echo Gilly, again. It might not be as bad as you think.

It'll get better. *hugs*

Nicole said...

Chin up!! And I agree get on the scale..it may not be as bad as you think. You can't be a perfect with your eating habits everyday ..we are here for you!!

Tina said...

Don't let a bump send you spinning off course. Like everyone else say--assess the damage and the make plans. Can you get a fill yet? It sounds like you need one. If you can get one..if you can't figure out what you can do in the mean time. In the end be patient...stuff is happening. It has been more than two years since my surgery and I got a fill today. There is no end to getting back on the band-wagon just the pace you want to set.

Tina

Bianca J said...

This is just a small bump along the way. I agree with everyone else, get on the scale so at least you know what you're dealing with. And don't let the number throw you off course. You're still healing from the gall bladder surgery so take it easy. You'll be back on track in no time. Just take it one day and one meal at a time. {{hugs}}