Is My Scale Broken?!

I am down another 3.5 lbs, I can't believe it!  In fact, I called Dr. Ren's office last week and asked to get in earlier than the 15th of April to get a little tweek.  They are going to squeeze me in on the 30th and let me keep my appointment on the 15th.

I mean I definitely feel a difference with this fill, I am getting stuck more frequently.  But, I hit my five month mark on Saturday and realized that I have never actually PB'd - is this normal?  I have gotten stuck on plenty of occasions - in fact I am stuck right now as I type this, but it usually goes down with in a minute or two.  Also,  the numbers weren't working for me the past two months and I feel like I am so behind.  I know that is not true - there is no behind or ahead - just your body doing it's own thing, but I really wasn't losing at all during that time.

This is how I felt this past week, but now that I am down 7 lbs in two weeks I am not sure what to do.  Maybe I will keep the appointment for the 30th and see how I feel on the 29th.  If my scale shows another great number then I will cancel and just go to the original appointment on the 15th.  Opinions, Suggestions....

This weekend was spectacular, the weather was amazing!  Saturday morning I actually went for a run OUTSIDE along the waterfront!  I was not very successful though, it's a lot harder to run outside than on a treadmill (for me at least). I think I am going to start training outside since my race is in a month.  I may have to go back to week three of C25K, but I'll build myself back up eventually.  The point was that I woke up on Saturday morning and could not resist the urge to go out there and get moving!  That is such an awesome feeling.  Sunday Dan and I broke out our bikes and went for a two hour bike ride.  I forgot our camera and my phone so I don't have any pictures to post, but it was beautiful.  We came back to the apartment and took a shower and then headed out to Hoboken, neither of us have ever been there before.  I would say that we walked around for a good hour just checking things out.  We had a drink at one of the bars and then walked down to the tapas place we picked out for dinner.  The food and wine was awesome!  Then on our walk back we stopped at this wine bar http://bin14.com/. We didn't order any food, I was pretty full from our little dinner, but the wine selection was really good.  We might do the "Cult Cabernets" tasting this Saturday, it sounds really interesting.  It's a tasting of "little known Cabs with HUGE flavors and followings", there is a three course meal served as well.

I am surprised that I had a loss this week, I am really starting to LOVE my band again!  Well that's it for now!  I will be back soon to let you know the latest on the fill saga!

Felling Better...

I am feeling so much better now that I have meet Dr. Ren and her staff. I can't get over how much better this office is compared to my old one!

So, I was sitting with Keith (not sure, I think that was his name) and he looked at my esophogram that I had done the week before and said "Wow, hun, you are wide open!". WTF, wide open?!?! At this point I am crying tears of joy - I really have been down on myself - feeling like a total failure. He was so sweet about my crying - he kept patting my hand and saying the Dr. Ren was going to fix everything and that I would start losing again! Once Dr. Ren came in I explained my previous experiences for my last two fills and she was appalled! I told her that I have been basically relying on self control for the past two months and that I realized that the band is just a tool, but that I didn't feel like I was being helped at all for the last two months. She then looked at me like I had three eyes! She said that self control is needed in order to eat slowly and chewing thoroughly, which is impossible to do if you are hungry. I got up on the table and she took out 4.5 cc's, which is crazy, because I should have had more in there according to my previous surgeon's office - I mean I had 3 cc's when the band was installed! Dr. Ren put in an extra cc's, so I should be at 5.5. To tell you the truth, I am not sure that this was enough, but we shall see. I am very hungry, but I have been on liquids so I guess that is to be expected!

I really love Dr. Ren - and wow, I am just going to say it - She is gorgeous!!! She is very easy to talk to and she does really listen. I guess this is why they everything happens for a reason, I was upset that I had to change doctors due to insurance issues - but in the end it was for the best!

Oh, and btw - I found the courage to weight myself this morning and I have lost 3.5 pounds which brings me to a total of 30.5!!! Whoohoo!!  The last time that I actually weighed myself was probably about a month ago - I just have been so upset about this non-restriction thing.  Plus, I really did lose my scale in a box during the move!  But, anyhoo, I am so very glad to have a loss...

I hope everyone had a great weekend, happy Monday!

Ugh...

I finally have an appointment for Dr. Ren next Friday. I hope that I get some sort of fill. I basically have not had anything for two months. The last two fills were not so great, the nurse had to do an unfill both times. The second time she took out everything that she had just put in - so I was no better off than the moment I walked into the office that day. When I told this to Tammy at Dr. Ren's office she told me that was not what she should have done. She should have taken a little out, not all of it. This comment made me feel hopeful that Dr. Ren will give me something on Friday - I HOPE!

I mean I am really falling of the wagon here. I am not eating what I should, I am not following the rules, I am not weighing myself - basically I suck. And to top it off, I have been slacking on C25K. The week we moved I decided that I was going to take a break - way too much going on. I was okay with that; knowing that I would have to go back a week in the training, the time off really makes a difference in my stamina. However I can't seem to get past this week now!! I should be on like week 9 now, WTF! Basically, I think my piss poor attitude is holding me back.

The good news - I will be going home (Southern New Jersey) tomorrow for the weekend! I am so excited, my friends and I are getting together for manis, drinks and dinner tomorrow night - I can't wait. Hopefully, this will bring me one step closer to pulling me out of this funk.

My plan is to get back on track Monday. Eating the right foods, ignoring my emotional hunger and starting (and finishing) week 6 of C25K. I only have a little over a month before my 6K and the cruise with my friends - I have to get my ass in gear! Hopefully, this fill will bring me some restriction. I feel like I am getting discouraged because I am having to do this on my own - just like all the other "diets". I know this isn't true, I am still eating way less than before, but I am defiantly more hungry lately.

Thanks :)

Just a quick note to say that I am so thankful for all of your comments on my last post.  I know that was a very depressing post, but what can I say - I was depressed.  I am over it now, there are way too many things going on right now - I can't just focus on the fill problem.  I am still waiting for Dr. Ren's office to review my files and get me set up.  Tammy told me to call her later this week for an update - there is nothing I can do, but wait - so why get upset?  Right?

Anyway, I am happy to say that we are now in our new apartment!  It is so beautiful, I still can't believe that I live there! I was extremely sad to be moving from NYC to Jersey City - I am a snob, I will admit it.  I mean my neighborhood in the city was perfect, I lived on the Upper West Side.  I had Central Park on one side and Riverside Park on the other - both in walking distance.  Plenty of bars and restaurants, we rarely left our neighborhood.  However; our apartment building and actual apartment - not so nice.  It was dark, old and drab.  Our new building - amazing!

This is our building, we live on the 16th floor in the green tower...

This was taken in our kitchen, looking into the living area...

This is the view from the left of the living room...

This is the view from the bedroom...

It is so bright, my cats love it!  We have huge windows in the living room and the bedroom.  Now the views are not anything special - the Statue of Liberty is just to the right of our viewing area and the city skyline is not the heart of the city, but it is much better than looking at a brick wall like our old apartment!  I have a really beautiful gym, an outdoor pool and hot tub, a garage and a bunch of crazy amenities!  As for bars and restaurants, I am pleasantly surprised.

Well that's it for now!  I will be back soon to let you know the latest on the fill saga!

Frustrated

I am totaly frustrated right now.  I went in for my fill this morning, once Chrissy was done she gave me a small glass of water and told me to sip.  I took a total of two sips and felt tight, not as bad as last time, but definitely uncomfortable.  I was prepared to leave and see if it got better over the next couple of days - I really need to feel this fill.  I didn't really feel much of a difference in the last fill; which ended up being about 1 cc.  So I got my scarf and coat on, only to realize that I could not swallow my saliva - gross.  This is exactly what happened last time, what is going on here!  Chrissy came back in and took out what she just put in - I am now back to what I was this morning - 5 cc's.  WTF, this can not be my sweat spot - there is no way.  I started to cry and said "This is it, I am on my own from now on?"  She said that I will need to get my next fill in Radiology because I am super sensitive.  However, they can't fit me in until well into March - which my insurance is no longer covering them beginning March 1st.

I need to get into Dr. Ren's office right away, but they won't even talk to me until they have all of my records.  Then they need time to review them.  When they finally can schedule me, what if it isn't until April or longer?  I am so upset.

Oh, did you ask me how I am coping with this?  I thought you did - Well, I am eating one million Mini Reese's Cups that my assistant gave me for Valentine's Day.  'Cause that will solve my problem...