My First Vlog!!

Here we gooooo.....

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Um, What is Wrong With Me?!

So, last week I set some goals and put them in two places on my blog.  First place is the top right hand side and the second is an actual page called "Goals".  I figured this would keep me in check.

As you can see I accomplished one of my goals - I went to the gym three times this week.  I really kick my ass - I felt amazing after each session.  However, I did not reach the weight loss goal which was to lose 2 lbs.  In fact, I GAINED 1.5 lbs. - WTF?  This is so disappointing, but I can't do anything to change it, right?  I set the same goals for this week and will see how that goes.

This weekend was a little challenging food and drink wise.  Dan's best friend's father passed away and we went to Bethlehem, PA this past Sunday and Monday for the viewing and funeral.  It was more of a celebration of his life - he was 93 and has so many beautiful grandchildren - a blessed life.  There was a lot of eating out and drinking with old friends, which was nice, but I am sure contributed to this week's gain.

My biggest problem right now is that I am not sure if I need a fill or not.  I am getting hungry quicker, but I am also getting stuck a lot.  There is no consistency with my restriction - Friday night Dan and I made pizza and I ate four slices!!  FOUR - I must be fucking crazy!  Granted, this was homemade pizza so the slices were pretty small compared to a regular pizza, but still.  But, then the next day I couldn't eat my lunch - a grilled chicken wrap.  I didn't even attempt the wrap, since I know my band is finicky.  I emptied the contents of the wrap out and began to eat the chicken slowly.  It took me over an hour and three trips to the bathroom.

I am really not sure what to do here, do I get a fill or do I really concentrate on proteins and see how that goes? I am just so scared that I am going to see the 200's again and that is just not an option...

A couple of photos I wanted to share with the group :)

A few weeks ago I went to the Poconos with my friends for a couple of days.  The weather was perfect and we had so much fun.  We really didn't do much, we drank lots of wine and made fabulous meals together.  After all I have been going through with work, it was just what I needed!

It was a little chilly the night we go up there, but it was so nice to sit outside with our wine after being stuck in the car for the drive there!

Our view from the back deck, I love fall!

Drinks and dinner at 21 Club a couple of weeks ago...

The drink in my hand is called a "Fig and Honey Old Fashioned"  - YUMMY!  The bartender was so excited because I was the first person to order it.  I told her it was fantastic and she said it was based on the pie she makes for Thanksgiving every year!

Us in our room at Hotel Bethlehem this weekend...

Um, another one with a drink in my hand....

That's about it for now, my little kittens!

I Miss You All!

Hi Everyone!

Well, it has been a few weeks since my last blog and that does not make me happy.  My work life is taking over!  So much so that I didn't even post on my one year anniversary, which was October 20th.  But, I am human and this is life.  I am refraining from posting a big salute to my one year, it is over and done.  I have lost over 60 lbs in a year and I am okay with that.

What I am not okay with is how I have somehow become withdrawn from the blogging world.  I am not sure what is going on with my mind lately, but it has to stop.  Blogging helps me and it always makes me feel better.  As the title states - I miss you all - I really do!  I miss your comments, they always make me smile, but most of all I miss having the time to read all of your blogs!  I miss knowing what's going on with you all.  Well, with the exception of the few people I am friends with on FB of course!

Is this all because work is crazy or is it something larger?  Maybe I feel like a failure.  I said maybe!  Look, I have never lost this much weight before and even in this little funk I have managed to maintain and not gain.  That is awesome!  However, I still feel like I should have been down much more by now.

Also, I still don't have a goal yet.  You know, the ultimate goal that you set in the beginning.  My surgeon's office (not my current band doctor) never spoke to me about the ultimate goal.  I have not had a conversation with my current doctor, Dr. Ren, or even Gaspar, the RN.  Maybe I need to make this conversation happen.  Maybe I need something specific to push for...

I feel absolutely fabulous right now, I mean 65 lbs isn't anything to laugh at.  But, what is keeping me from being confident in this band and continuing on?  I need to have a goal - I think that is my answer.  I would love to know what you lovely people think...

Is it Friday Yet?

Yeah, this is how I am feeling.  I hope I don't look as terrible when people come into my office!  I am ready to kill someone, really it's crazy here...

I seriously can't wait until Friday!  I am going to the Poconos with my friends - just the girls!  The only thing that sucks is that I have to leave VERY early Friday morning.  I really hope I am not in the office too late Thursday!

I did not post last Monday and this one is going to be very short and defiantly not informative!  On top of working crazy hours, I am trying to keep up with all of you fabulous people, but it's difficult.  When I glanced at my reader count it said I have over 400 unread - it's only been a week I think!  I can't keep up!

So, last week and this week's weight is the same - holding steady at 196, boo!  I will weigh myself on Wednesday morning again since that is officially a year for me.  Any chance of me losing 6 lbs by then?!

I hope you are doing great!

Shoe Question...

As I am losing weight I am finding that I like shoes!  I want to buy them all!  I saw these and just had to have them.  They were pumps, how bad could they be?  I have a few pairs of pumps that I can wear all day to work or events and not die, but they are super boring.

I ordered them from DSW and they came yesterday...

These are not pumps, no way!  These are way higher than any pump I have worn, I don't think I can wear these!  How do I know when a high heeled shoe fits?  They are a 7W which should be good, the back feels good, doesn't slip, but my toes feel squished.  I imagine that is just gravity - no matter what size they are my feet are going to push forward, right?

HELP!!  I want to be a real lady and wear big girl shoes but I don't know how!  Is this something I can learn?