Monday, November 22, 2010

Update Monday...

Thank you all for you comments on my first Vlog last week, I was so nervous!

So as I said in my Vlog I was very tight after my fill on Wednesday and was trying to figure out what to do.  Thursday morning I woke up and felt much better and was able to get liquids down so I decided to stay at my current level of 6.4 cc's.

Things were pretty good until Saturday, I got stuck on everything.  Sunday was terrible, I couldn't get liquids down at all.  I was dry heaving and sliming all day, so gross.  My husband is a Dallas fan and the game wasn't going to be on TV so we were going to go out to watch the game.  I told him to still go and have a good time - I was very happy that it worked out that way.  I was on the couch all day with a trashcan at my feet - not very attractive!  Mostly I just wanted to be left alone so it was nice that he had something to do.  By the end of the day I was so thirsty that I was chewing ice and then spitting the liquid out - just to have something cool and refreshing in my mouth.

This morning I was able to drink some water, but went straight to the Dr.'s office to get an unfill.  The more I get stuck and slime the more damage it could do to my band.  Plus I lost 6 lbs according do the scale at their office - since Wednesday!  That is not good and I am so hungry!  Gaspar and I agreed to take out .2 of the .4 that he put in last week.  We both knew that I was very sensitive to fills, but agreed to be a little aggressive last week.  We  now know that just doesn't work for me.  

Hopefully this one will work.  Thanksgiving is right around the corner and I will be away for a few days so getting another adjustment would be out of the question until next week.  

I weighed myself at home yesterday morning for the challenge and lost 2 lbs, but when i weighed myself this morning  I lost a total of 6 lbs.  This is usually how it works for me, I weigh more Sunday morning for the challenges then I do on Monday, my regular weigh in day - bummer!  But, I guess it wouldn't be fare to post a 6 lb loss when it was just because I haven't been eating!  I keep looking at my total loss after I updated my little badge on the sidebar - 69 lbs down!  But, I am trying to be very realistic about next week's numbers - I am sure to go up!  The odds just aren't good - I will gain some of the weight back from being too tight this week, Thanksgiving is here and I will be getting my (.) on Wednesday!

I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving here in the states!  Gobble, gobble my little turkeys!

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Um, What is Wrong With Me?!

So, last week I set some goals and put them in two places on my blog.  First place is the top right hand side and the second is an actual page called "Goals".  I figured this would keep me in check.

As you can see I accomplished one of my goals - I went to the gym three times this week.  I really kick my ass - I felt amazing after each session.  However, I did not reach the weight loss goal which was to lose 2 lbs.  In fact, I GAINED 1.5 lbs. - WTF?  This is so disappointing, but I can't do anything to change it, right?  I set the same goals for this week and will see how that goes.

This weekend was a little challenging food and drink wise.  Dan's best friend's father passed away and we went to Bethlehem, PA this past Sunday and Monday for the viewing and funeral.  It was more of a celebration of his life - he was 93 and has so many beautiful grandchildren - a blessed life.  There was a lot of eating out and drinking with old friends, which was nice, but I am sure contributed to this week's gain.

My biggest problem right now is that I am not sure if I need a fill or not.  I am getting hungry quicker, but I am also getting stuck a lot.  There is no consistency with my restriction - Friday night Dan and I made pizza and I ate four slices!!  FOUR - I must be fucking crazy!  Granted, this was homemade pizza so the slices were pretty small compared to a regular pizza, but still.  But, then the next day I couldn't eat my lunch - a grilled chicken wrap.  I didn't even attempt the wrap, since I know my band is finicky.  I emptied the contents of the wrap out and began to eat the chicken slowly.  It took me over an hour and three trips to the bathroom.

I am really not sure what to do here, do I get a fill or do I really concentrate on proteins and see how that goes? I am just so scared that I am going to see the 200's again and that is just not an option...

A couple of photos I wanted to share with the group :)

A few weeks ago I went to the Poconos with my friends for a couple of days.  The weather was perfect and we had so much fun.  We really didn't do much, we drank lots of wine and made fabulous meals together.  After all I have been going through with work, it was just what I needed!

It was a little chilly the night we go up there, but it was so nice to sit outside with our wine after being stuck in the car for the drive there!

Our view from the back deck, I love fall!

Drinks and dinner at 21 Club a couple of weeks ago...

The drink in my hand is called a "Fig and Honey Old Fashioned"  - YUMMY!  The bartender was so excited because I was the first person to order it.  I told her it was fantastic and she said it was based on the pie she makes for Thanksgiving every year!

Us in our room at Hotel Bethlehem this weekend...

Um, another one with a drink in my hand....

That's about it for now, my little kittens!

Tuesday, November 09, 2010

I Miss You All!

Hi Everyone!

Well, it has been a few weeks since my last blog and that does not make me happy.  My work life is taking over!  So much so that I didn't even post on my one year anniversary, which was October 20th.  But, I am human and this is life.  I am refraining from posting a big salute to my one year, it is over and done.  I have lost over 60 lbs in a year and I am okay with that.

What I am not okay with is how I have somehow become withdrawn from the blogging world.  I am not sure what is going on with my mind lately, but it has to stop.  Blogging helps me and it always makes me feel better.  As the title states - I miss you all - I really do!  I miss your comments, they always make me smile, but most of all I miss having the time to read all of your blogs!  I miss knowing what's going on with you all.  Well, with the exception of the few people I am friends with on FB of course!

Is this all because work is crazy or is it something larger?  Maybe I feel like a failure.  I said maybe!  Look, I have never lost this much weight before and even in this little funk I have managed to maintain and not gain.  That is awesome!  However, I still feel like I should have been down much more by now.

Also, I still don't have a goal yet.  You know, the ultimate goal that you set in the beginning.  My surgeon's office (not my current band doctor) never spoke to me about the ultimate goal.  I have not had a conversation with my current doctor, Dr. Ren, or even Gaspar, the RN.  Maybe I need to make this conversation happen.  Maybe I need something specific to push for...

I feel absolutely fabulous right now, I mean 65 lbs isn't anything to laugh at.  But, what is keeping me from being confident in this band and continuing on?  I need to have a goal - I think that is my answer.  I would love to know what you lovely people think...